Wednesday, August 22, 2012

00101100 (robots will understand this)

What is the student without the classroom? And vice versa, what is the classroom without the student? More importantly, which came first; the student, or the classroom? Or was it the chicken? THE EGG!? If you drop your roommate's favorite coffee mug, shattering it into a million viciously sharp porcelain shards and nobody's around to hear it, did you really break it? These are the heavy hitters, the real tough questions that nobody wants to tackle. The one's nobody wants to even hear asked. The one's nobody has an answer to.

Until literally this very moment.

Yes folks, I am here to banish your fears. I am here to bring the great power of Knowledge down from Mount Olympus and bestow it upon your eager brain muscles. Call me a modern day Prometheus if you like! ("But instead of fire you brought... Knowledge?" You ask "Whatever, just go with it!" I retort). I make no claims to be a god, or a demigod, or even a recent Ridley Scott 2012 box office thriller. No, no claims at all.... However, I do make proclaims! And so I proclaim to you my friends! I proclaim that the student and the classroom cannot exist separately! They must go together, like peanut butter and jelly! Like Sonny & Cher! Like beards and my face! And yes! Yes if you dropped your roommate's favorite coffee mug, the one that his mother got him to fuel his rampant caffeine addiction, the drug which drove him to that frenzied state only achievable by Architecture students, that allowed him to stalk the dark halls of Storr's deep into the night, preying upon any innocent shreds of a social life that might be lurking in secret places, yes you did break it! Even if Mackswell was watching Dr. Who full blast with his ear buds in, and Jordan was eating cottage cheese from a measuring cup in his room and, ruing loudly the day mankind discovered Accounting.... You still broke it!

..... But what if I'm wrong? Now this may be hard to come to terms with, (sorry Evan, I promise I'll replace the mug) but what if my solutions to these mysteries of life, and no doubt the many others that propel mankind along our marathon of existence, may still elude the grasp of even I, the great Ridley Scott 2012 box office thriller! Perhaps I have fooled myself in my quest for All Powerful Knowledge, and I am still suspended in the pool of nothingness, and its liquid continues to permeate my pores, to seep into my being, into my very soul indeed! Perhaps I... I am... nothing.

HAH! You fool! I. AM. EVERYTHING! *thunder!* *explosions!* *maniacal laughter and a general cacophony of apocalypse sounds!*

.... Naah that's not true either. But I'll tell you what: I've been out of school now longer than ever before in my 20 years on this planet. Yep, with all my amigos and amigas going back to the past week, I've just kinda been at home. The reason behind this is I am preparing to journey across the sea in September to begin my year abroad in England and Germany. So since my term doesn't start until October, as I will be placed on a trimester system over there, I won't be going to school for the Fall semester at UNCC. This is something that truly saddens me. I'm leaving a lot of great people, things, opportunities, and one heck of a city behind here. I just keep in mind that the experiences that I'll have abroad will prove to be immensely beneficial to me in my journey through life, and in my quest for All Powerful Knowledge. But for now, I'm just a dude. Just a good dude trying to live his life the way a good dude should. Without school to occupy my mind this next month and a half before I leave, or a proper job either. Having already spent a month in this situation, I've found that it can become a bit of a drag. But I'm not the type that just wants to be dragged along. So I took it upon myself to focus my energy even more than I already have been. And since I figured the "back to school" blogs will be rolling in soon, I just wanted to throw my hat in the ring with this "not back to school" blog.

So in my attempt to continue being productive, here are a few of the things that occupy my time:

The Garden! As you can see, there are three rows of peas doing extremely well. They're pulling my lattice down, so I'll have to go and fix that probably tomorrow. But they're growing so well. My family is going to drown in peas when the harvest comes. In the foreground I tilled up the soil a couple days ago, but the hardware store where we get our seeds was closed the past few days, so I just got them today. Tomorrow I'll probably also plant in three and a half rows of a mix of turnips, kale, and mustard. The poles with strings tied around them are for deer deterrent. We have a pretty rambunctious deer population in the neighborhood, and with no natural predators, they have no qualms about hopping the fence and snackin' on some veggies. I'll probably string up some tin plates over the garden, and get those rags soaked with deer repellent once the plants start leafing up a little bit more. As I type this they're probably gnawing the peas, laughing at me... Those jerks....

Ahhh yes, a well trimmed lawn, and a homemade bench to sit upon. What more could a guy ask for on such a glorious, late summer evening?
 And here is my cat Pounce. Pounce has lived far too long. She's been long overdue for a crushing. That's why I've crushed her in this photograph.... Naaaah! You guys are so easy! I'm just giving her a cat massage (please now leave this site, go to Youtube and paste the following words into the search bar "So Your Cat Wants A Massage?" You will not regret this decision).
 And of course some potted plants to water! For another interactive internet scavenger hunt, and this one is optional, whereas the last one was mandatory. If you still haven't done it, go do it. I won't write anymore until you have....

.... Did you do it?


.... Yeah!? I know it's hilarious right?!

Anyway. Go to this link: and listen to a track by my favorite musician Dave Davison of Maps & Atlases/Cast Spells. Wonderful music hailing from the Windy City. Just press the play button and enjoy!
 And here is a little sample of my most recent hobby, which is carving and woodworking and whatnot. That walkin' stick right there is smooth as silk, it's awesome. And you can't really see the detail, but it looks very nice. I put a golden oak stain on it after I sanded it like crazy. So it has all these really nice, dark wood rings. If you'd like one, let me know! I'm not gonna charge you or anything like that. I'm just happy to have something to do. is my email.
 Ahh yes, and two more cats to hang out with. That's Pounce, Sticky and Domino from front to back. As you can see, these animals go pretty hard. They turn haters into lovers on a daily basis, just like their family taught them. So come on by and give them a cat massage. Except Sticky, he likes to bite. But they're just bites full of love and compassion, I promise. And he'll only do it if you stop scratching his ears.
 And here is one of those random projects that I've just been picking up. Just a bench my grandpa built that I've sanded down, primed, and almost finished painting. Although I think it would look AWESOME with the feet just painted like that and the legs white, am I right or am I right?
 And a favorite pair of pants to sew up, although mom doesn't quite know about this project. Or the rest of the family. They'll probably argue vehemently with me to throw them away. But I am one stubborn individual, and I will bow to nobody!
 And finally, I have my instruments to make beautiful noises with. I'll sit hunched over in that chair playing around with a loop through my guitar, or a tap my feet along with a Celtic jig on my mandolin, or just sing a little song with my banjo, Humphrey Clippings, in accompaniment. I very much enjoy this part of the world.

And not pictured are the many other things that I do to stay busy. I returned to the Habitat ReStore on Wendover today to start a regular routine of morning volunteer hours, which I am very much looking forward to. I try to keep in touch with friends who are living near me, some old, and some new. Since the family all work, I make a point to have dinner ready or close to ready before they come home. With today being an exception, as I was writing this blog for you lovely folks. And I hop on the old bicycle about every other day for a trip around the neighborhood, mixed in with some stretching and core exercises to keep my bones all in line. And sometimes I sleep. But I figure you know what sleeping is.

I am happy for my friends who are starting back at school, and I'm happy for my friends who are starting new jobs and just taking some time off from education. And it's fantastic that I've finally found a way to keep from going stir crazy in my parent's nest. After you stretch out those wings, it's hard to tuck them back in. In general, I'm just glad that the sun is still shining, the world is still turning, and I'm back at it again.

I hope ya'll enjoyed this blog. I look forward to the next time I get to type at you.

P.S. PLEASE don't tell Zeus about the Knowledge.

P.P.S I didn't actually break Evan's coffee mug.

-Jacob "Two Piece" Huffman