'Twas the Week Before Finals - Ryan Mach '17

‘Twas the week before finals, when all through the school,

Not a student was stirring, not even the frat boys who think they’re so cool.

The papers were written with the finest of care,

In hopes that we would avoid that final semester scare.

The students were snuggled ‘neath blankets of wool

Filled to the brim with their studying aids, coffee and red bull

And freshmen in the ‘brary, and I in my exam

Had just amped up our brains for a long winter’s cram

When out on the quad there arose such a clatter,

That I sprung from my chair to see what was the matter

Away from that class I flew in a flash

For I was looking for any excuse to get out in a dash

The fog lying low to the ground

Helped muffle my footfalls til I made not a sound

When, what surprise I did see

But the fluff of fur that belongs to a puppy

For it was that time of year around here

When UNCC brought the pups to quell student’s fears

In walked their owner with a chuckle of glee

Delighted knowing he’d help prevent student’s C’s.

“Now Roger! Now Daphne!

Now Mojo and Lexi!

On Dash! On Delilah!

On Fido and Maxi!

To the back of the library,

To the lap of the students,

Now cuddle away! Cuddle away!

Cuddle away all!”

So shouted their owner with force,

And the dogs did love all, as they will of course

So up to the laps the puppies did fly

And now the sad students no longer did cry

‘Twas then that the students did double down on school,

For they had finally found their secret weapon, their tool

The love of the pups did bring them around

And now it was easy to do exams they found

And at the end of the week the owner did leave

But not before students took their exams and achieve

With school over for the semester and students going home

The pups were now free to go roam

As the owner was packing his truck to depart

Away from him one puppy did dart

And I picked him up and gave him back to his owner with ease

Then to me the owner said “Listen closely, if you’d please

‘Tis the season of exams and of stressing,

But if you could listen for just one final lesson,

For following this season of stress

There is one final thing you need to address

Remember that the holidays are about to begin,

A time to pig out and meet back with kin

So remember as you’re about to take flight

Good luck on finals to all, and to all a good night!”